Always, always, always have something grateful. This is how I once opened a lecture to a group of people who trained to become volunteers for a non-profit organization in which I worked. I was greeted by “How can you minimize someone?” A fair question, but I thought it was strange, since I had two decades on the field, working as a crisis counselor, and I just tried to convey what I myself found out. So, I replied: "Let me lay out a few examples for you."
Although it is true that many of us do little things, big things. I try to never minimize what someone is going through. But there are two who say that I have found the truth. You only need to look at social networks to see the relevance of these statements. First, the statement “Talking about our problems is our biggest addiction.” Powerful! When we continue to talk about our problems, we feed them, and they become much more than they can be. Secondly: “Now, someone is praying that you have problems.” Even more powerful. So, when I was pushed for a better example, I suggested the following.
Michelle was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. Horrible diagnosis. However, she was not given a forecast. Meanwhile, Tony was going to have dinner with her parents to announce that she was getting married. On the way, she was hit by a drunk driver. Lying on the side of the road and bleeding out before the paramedics can get to it. Do you think she will be ready to trade with Michelle? Although the diagnosis of Michel is not promising, do you think that Tony would like to fight for his life? Or, how about putting it in order? How about the last time I love you with family and friends. Do you think she will trade?
Jason and Wanda have been trying to have a child since they were married. Ten years later, they are still not pregnant. They do not want to accept and feel damned. Meanwhile, through the city, Lisa, a 14-year-old girl, became pregnant by her first sexual encounter. Her parents demand that she have an abortion so that she does not discredit her last name. She feels unloved of options, and the boy who became pregnant refuses to talk to her. Liza would like to trade in places so as not to feel shame and coercion for this abortion?
Mark is 68 years old, and in a nursing home - 24 hours a day. His pain is out of control and has been in the past 17 months. Next to his bed is Linda. She is about the same age as Mark receives palliative care and is expected to die within the next 72 hours. She has no pain, the family gathers around her and will pass very much in her sleep. Mark prayed to die. And he will trade places.
Matt is a heroine and a homeless person. This is winter. He lives in an abandoned building. Today he lies there, with a needle hanging from his arm. He has no food, hope or family support. Rhonda is in a rehabilitation center and is not working on her program. It is destructive, violates the rules and desires to leave, but it cannot, because the appeal is appointed by the court. Do you think Matt will trade with her? What do you think he will do to trade places, to have a bed, bath, food and feel loved again? What do you think will happen if he feels hope again?
Dawn is a successful 30 business owner. But everything she does complains that she is not married. Erin, her personal assistant, has been married for six years and is constantly listening to dawn, saying that she wishes she had such a husband. But what Don doesn’t know is that Erin’s husband has problems with gambling. Worse, when he loses at the card table, he returns home and takes it over. Erin wants a divorce, but she can't afford it. In addition, she believes that if she tries to leave, he will harm herself or her. Will Erin trade?
The truth is that someone is now praying to have your problems. Of course, we have the right to have a bad day and feel sorry for ourselves. But after 30 years of work in the field of mental health, I support what I said. And this is “always, always, always something grateful.” Find something. Now go on with your life. Because we can not always trade places.
