The first time I realized that I could heal myself when I was a child. I was rather brash and a little brave. It was a time when Evil Kenyvel was popular, as well as his stunts. I would put the ramps and throw them in an abandoned box near my grandmother’s house in Queens, New York. Needless to say, I fell a lot. I got up and used my conviction that it wouldn't hurt. I would go on. I now understand that I used the power of faith or the placebo effect, as some like to call it, to minimize pain.
I began to meditate and read about healing and the like in 1988, when I was 20, and my father recently passed. I tried to understand my loss.
I began to read books such as the creative visualization of Shakti Gawain and many lives, many by the masters of Brian Weiss.
I also began to pray for guidance, which I never thought about in the past. I also began to follow the guidance I received, which usually occurred in a dream. I began to read tarot cards and moved my energy using color and visualization. I could lay hands on someone, visualize the color, and their pain disappeared. I began to believe in my gifts.
Between 1990 and 1991, my whole world fell apart, my marriage broke up, I fell ill and needed surgery.
In 1990, I also made my first trip to Tulum Mexico and felt this incredible connection to this place. I could see all the colors and energy emanating from the ruins. In 1991, I had Pel's inflammatory disease, which blew up my right ovary and blocked my left tube. I was a mess. I had an exploratory operation that left me with a large scar in the midline from my navel to my pubic bone. I woke up in a lot of pain physically and emotionally. This opened up my emotional wounds. I was so depressed and angry, I felt completely hopeless. I could not take care of myself and my two children. I was completely emotional, spiritually and physically raw. My doctor also said that I was now barren and could not have more children. After a huge amount of self-healing, about which I spoke in the first manual, I realized that I can no longer see energetically, which was traumatic. I no longer felt gifted only wounded.
In 1992, I traveled to Florida with children. I finally felt a little better and wanted to start living and enjoying life again. While I was there, I went to a mental fair for pleasure. I saw an amazing psychiatrist who told me that I had been a high priestess in many lives for many years and that I was a healer and that I would be returning to school for many years. At that time I was thinking about school, but I really did not know. I had so many interests. She also told me that in a past life I was in Central America, and they killed me because I gave too much information before people were ready for it. She said it was one of my tasks this time; coming off as "know all."
Given this information, I decided to return to school at the CW Post, LIU, which in the fall of 1992. I did some studies in art, music, dance, and psychology, only to realize that I could bring them all together and become a creative therapist. During this time, I also began treatment with an amazing art therapist, whom I spoke about in the first tutorial. During this time, I began to reveal many aspects of myself that I did not understand. I was a talented artist, writer and dancer. I also realized that I would someday be able to become a good therapist.
I also realized that something else was missing in my life. I was approaching the end of the 20s, I was fine in my work, I had a boyfriend whom I loved very much and for the first time in my life that I could remember that I was somewhat pleased, but something was missing. I began to longing for another child. I knew that I was barren and really should not worry. I suffered from chronic yeast infections and bladder infections, and my gynecologist tried to convince me of the hysterectomy, but I refused. I really thought that I could have another child.
I began to pray every night and as often as I could remember during the day. I prayed for help and advice. One night I had a dream of my grandfather, which passed in 1990, holding a beautiful child in my hands. I remember how his shining blue eyes shone so brightly when he held this little bundle of love. When I woke up, I, of course, rationalized and psychoanalyzed my dream. I definitely thought it was because I was doing so much work with the inner child, from which part of my child was leaving. So, after 3 months I was pregnant, wow, what a surprise for me, my boyfriend and my doctor. He told me that it happens so often. Of course, I attributed this to my prayer and visualization, holding the child, my child.
I was in my last year of study to finish my bachelor of science in art therapy with a minor in art and dance, when my doctor was told that if I did not stop everything I was doing, I would lose this child. For the second time in my life I stopped everything. I stopped working full time at the family pharmacy, and I needed help to take care of my children. My friend moved, and my new life began.
It was a really healing crisis. According to my doctor, if I made any quick movements or walked too much, the placental wall would separate, and I could interrupt myself. It was not the pregnancy that I imagined. I stopped being a strong and confident woman, feeling like an invalid. I couldn’t do a lot for myself and I’m so used to doing everything myself. It was a great lesson for me to stop and BE! I was so used to what I was doing, and I was on the go, go, go all the time.
I was on bed rest 6 months, so I read. I read every book in which I could talk about energetic healing, chakras, meditation, shamanism, Chinese medicine, Ayurvedic medicine, herbs, homeopathy and natural remedies. I even went to Barbara Brennan’s school for healing, although the time was wrong.
After a violent pregnancy; I was in the workroom 7 times before I was finally busy. I gave birth to my last son. I took a semester and began studying next semester near Marymount College. I thought it was the best idea since I was still breastfeeding. It was a huge adjustment, a new school, a new child, a new environment and a new home. We moved to Westchester.
Towards the end of my first internship in a nearby mental hospital, an incident occurred, and one of the psychotherapists was beaten badly, suffering from brain damage. This really bothered me and my husband. I began to revise the line of work that I was entering.
In the same year, the dean of the Art Therapy program was released, and I had a difficult time for my second internship, since all the art therapy programs were closed in neighboring hospitals. I took these cases as signs that I needed to make changes. In the same year I did research work on emotional liberation and bodywork. I needed to know more about it. I did a lot of research at the New Center, where there was an extensive library on bodywork, mind-body connection, and healing. I felt very comfortable there, right at home. Little did I know that it would practically become my home for 4 years.
At the end of my degree, not in Art Therapy, but in psychology, I took the summer to think. I knew that I no longer wanted to be a Creator of creative arts, but I didn’t know what I wanted. During this time, I became pregnant again. A little more than a year after my last child, I was delighted. That was until I saw my doctor. He and my husband felt that this could kill me, and, as in my last pregnancy, the placental wall would have broken if I had left the child. Like all women abortion decision makers, it was not easy. I cannot blame my doctor, my husband, or even myself, because I know that if I had not done this, the next step in my healing would probably not have happened.
I had an abortion and right after my heart rate had not stabilized, and I realized that I was not as strong as I thought. I had a serious reaction to anesthesia. When I returned home, I felt different, very miserable, and gained 25 pounds this month.
I also dreamed every night about this little Asian girl. I will see her face when I close my eyes. I thought I should go crazy.
I began to see my therapist again, doing art and energy. I also told him about my thoughts on going to school, to become a massage therapist, to get a license to release emotions that were stuck in my body. It was at this time that he moved from my therapist and became my mentor. In 1997, I started a massage program in what was once a new Center in the near future, to become the New York College for health education and research. I also began the journey after finding out who this little girl I saw in my dream. Up to this point, I have never made any real bodies. I have been engaged in energy work since the beginning of the 90s, and besides, research work practically did not know about it. When I worked on someone or worked on me, I felt sick and irritable. It was terrible, not at all what I expected and explored.
However, I really love my familiarity with Chinese medicine. This I knew I had to do. The massage I felt was like a stepping stone to get my license, but Chinese medicine got all the answers, or so I thought. I still had dreams of a little girl; she seemed to be a little older, though that made no sense to me. I began to make a sculpture, gradually allowing this little girl to evolve from clay. When I finally finished the sculpture, I realized that the little girl was me. I fed me. New. I, I never knew before.
In 1998, I started the Oriental Medicine program along with a massage program. I was in my element; I was so happy every day learning new things. I really did not study, somehow I saved the information, although I took 8-10 grades at a time, 3 children at home and work on weekends. It was really a recipe for disaster. I understand it now, looking back.
During this year, my good friend Julie gave me a book called Sastun, about this healer in Belize. I looked through it, but did not read it completely, because I had so many reading assignments. However, I remembered that as a child I had a strong desire to go to Belize, but I thought it was in Africa. I actually used to look for the Atlas and maps for it, but I could never find it. In 1999, I was finally at the tail of the massage program and in the clinic. I loved and hated the clinic. I liked to feel that I work when regular customers come, but I hated the fact that I was often at home, angry, sad, angry and often in tears.
I felt like I was taking all the pain from my clients and I feel terrible for them. I remember that one of my medical observers took me aside and said that we needed to talk. She explained to me all about grounding, cleaning your salt with salt. I read about all these things many years ago, but I forgot about them, never applying them. I started applying them, daily washing with a salt scrub, grounding before each client and every day wasting time to go out and stay in the sun even for a few moments. Finally, I began to notice the difference. I felt happier and healthier.
The Acupuncture program required Qi Gong and Tai Chi. I tolerated Tai Chi, but I loved Qi Gong. He felt so light and expansive. This practice made me feel so alive, so full of energy. I began to see again. I could not see for so long that I let him go. I could see now, but in a different way, I could also feel energetic at the same time. During my last semester of the massage school, I took a class that was given by a wonderful holistic nurse practitioner and Amma therapist Katie Lipsky. During this semester, my daughter woke up from a nightmare and walked over to my bedroom, startled and cried. My first answer was to stroke her belly. I honestly did not know what I was doing, I was in a sleeping state, but it seemed to help, and she fell asleep again.
The day after the lesson, I talked to the teacher about what happened the day before, and asked what suggestions she might have if she were in that situation. She asked me to show her what I did so that she could give me feedback.
I showed her how I rubbed the belly of my daughter, and she asked: “Where did you recognize this technique?” I told her that I was asleep and did not know. Then she told me that she had just gone to study this ancient technique in Texas called “Malya abdominal and uterine massage”. I was in a daze. At that time I did not understand this, but she found out about it from the same woman who wrote the book Sastun, which my friend Julie had given me a year earlier. I had a prolapsed uterus, since I was a child, caused by falling from a tree. I had a history of ovarian cysts and fibroids. In 1991, I developed an pelvic inflammatory disease, and I underwent exploratory abdominal surgery, which forced my uterus and bladder to further prolapse and stick together. I was told that I would need a pessicaria, a plastic invasive device to hold the uterus, if I did not perform the operation. I could not do the surgery because my reaction to anesthesia.
I took it as a sign to heal myself. I tried, and after three months of weekly sessions, my uterus and bladder were no longer respected. My hands were always cold for as long as I could remember, but after working Maya in the abdominal cavity I had a circulation. I was really amazed at how quickly I healed. I also knew that I had to go to Belize. I still did not know why, but I knew that I would. I learned through my friend Dee that there would be a class called Spiritual Healing in March in Belize, and I knew that I had to go. I completed the massage program in 1999 and accepted my state council in January 2000. In January, I started the advanced Amma program.
In March 2000, I went to Belize with Katie, Dea and my good friend Cynthia, as well as 8 more wonderful women for the first class of spiritual healing given by Dr. Rosita Arvigo. I had no idea what to expect. I was in awe. I finally lived in one of my dreams to go to Belize. I did not realize that I was there to heal me and become a Spiritual Healer. “Spiritual healing” involves the causes and treatment of the chulola (life force) and the four major spiritual diseases of maya: susto (fear), pesar (sorrow), tristez (sadness) and invidia (envy), and the use of healing methods such as prayer , herbal bathing and incense.
This was my first experience with spirits and spiritual guides. Up to this point I only had a guide in a dream, and not an intuitive guide or a guide of the spirit.
During the life that transformed the journey, I released the children's spirit, which I interrupted in 1996, with the help of Rosita, Mrs. Hortense and Mrs. Beatrice, and many spirits and guides, in what replicated the huts of the Shaman Don Eligio, I learned how to heal spiritual diseases with prayer, spiritual baths and a copal. I understood from my Greek Orthodox upbringing what my grandmother did weekly — this is spiritual healing in the house and us. At that time I knew little about it. I also learned to release spirits from people, sending them to the light. I became a ghost! Who knew?
On my return from Belize, I worked at a spa in Larchmont, New York. Rosita told us not to worry; when you are ready, customers will come. Well, my first client had a lot of problems that I learned about, difficulty sleeping, bad dreams, etc. So I asked him if he would be interested in spiritual healing, he said. I began to say prayers in his impulses, and when I did what looked like snakes moved under his skin. I was really damned. I tried not to be afraid and focused only on the task. I continued the prayers, and as I said, the movement stopped. He returned a few more times. He said that he felt much better and that his nightmares stopped, and he slept for the first time in many years. In 2000, I finished self-care and training classes and began working as a practicing mother massage. In 2000, I met my good friend Lindsay Sass-Aurand in a self-help class. We immediately hit him. She was my neighbor next door, and we walked for a long time. She is an amazing clairvoyant, twice struck by lightning, no less.
She told me about Celitsa, with whom she worked, and encouraged me to meet him. His name was Jacques Tombazyan. Когда я встретил его, я чувствовал себя комфортно вокруг него, но чувствовал себя очень сильным, как будто я не хотел слишком близко. Я не знал почему. Он казался очень приятным и полезным. В течение следующих нескольких лет я взял ряд уроков; Развитие ясновидения, Эзотерическое исцеление, Внутренняя алхимия 1-3, Исцеление Сексуальных Проблем и Целебных Отношений. Я многому научился у него, как стать целителем, полностью использовать свои дары, ощущать и раскрывать свой потенциал.
В 2000 году я также встретился с Мерседесом и Джеральдо Барриосом, майями-старейшинами из Гватемалы, хранителями календаря. Мы провели церемонию пожара в Вашингтоне, округ Колумбия, связывая Шаманов Севера и Шаманов Юга, соединяющих орла и кондора. Я не думал, что это так глубоко в то время, но в ретроспективе это создало шаблон для исцеления многих. В 2001 году я начал ощущать износ своей жизни, ходить в школу, работать в выходные, 3 ребенка и учиться быть целителем.
Моя спина вышла весной. Я буквально не мог двигаться. Затем мои колени погасли. Я помню этот день, как вчера. Я был в классе Ци Гун, проводя разминки, когда почувствовал поп в левом колене. Мое левое колено всегда было моим слабым коленом, так как я был ребенком. Я много раз травмировал его в гимнастике, футболе и танцах. Я пошел домой, а затем в течение 2 недель разорвал хрящ в другом колене. Я был беспорядок. Я пробовал физическую терапию, иглоукалывание, все виды исцеления энергией. Я согласился с моим врачом, что если бы я не поправлялся, холистически в течение 1 месяца, я бы сделал операцию.
Я также воспринял это как знак того, что если бы я не остановил свой безумный темп, мне стало бы хуже. Я закончил программу Advanced Amma и отказался от программы акупунктуры. Вероятно, это была одна из самых трудных вещей, которые я когда-либо делал в своей жизни. В июле этого месяца у меня была операция. Увидев вторую МРТ, мой врач был поражен тем, насколько хорошо работает так называемое «альтернативное исцеление». Я все еще перенес операцию. Оказалось, что мои связки были намного более перенапряжены, чем мы думали ранее, и у меня были незаживающие переломы волоса на моей бедренной кости, возможно, из моих осмелившихся выходков дьявола в детстве. Мне потребовалось 6 месяцев, чтобы нормально ходить без костылей или трости и 1 год, чтобы иметь возможность бежать снова. 2001 год также стал поворотным моментом для многих людей во всем мире. Я начал работать полный рабочий день в качестве целителя в этом году, помогая духам вернуться домой после 11 сентября. Я также начал свою практику исцеления.
С тех пор я также принял Галактический курс консультирования с Джелайлой Старр. Она научила меня различать, а не быть любовью и легче. Есть много подарков, которые могут быть достигнуты путем исцеления собственной тьмы, и я благодарен ей за это. Я также учился у Лауры Шурц, бабушки из коренных американцев, старейшины. Она научила меня быть воином и истинным значением исцеления, а не исправлением. Я так многому научился у своих клиентов за последние 8 лет, что я не могу написать даже половину этого. Чем больше у меня опыта работы в качестве целителя и фасилитатора, тем больше я узнаю, что есть чему поучиться. Недавно я решил вернуться в школу и закончить магистров по акупунктуре. На этот раз я всегда хотел, но не знал, что существует, классическая акупунктура, в устной традиции. Я с нетерпением жду, что будет в будущем.
Я осознал в своем путешествии, что каждый день есть возможность исцелить себя. При этом он приносит мне величайший дар стать алхимиком, превращая мое личное лидерство в золото.
