Persistent behavior is “a form of behavior characterized by a confident statement or statement of a statement without the need for proof, it confirms the rights or point of view of a person without any aggressively threatening rights of another (subject to domination) or subordinate permission of another - to ignore or deny their rights or point of view ”according to Dorland Medical Dictionary.
The concept of Assertiveness has come to the center of attention through books such as:
1. Your Ideal Right: A Guide to Persistent Behavior (1970) by Robert E. Alberti and
2. When I say “No”, I feel guilty: how to cope with the use of the skills of systematic therapy with the statement (1975) of Manuel J. Smith.
These days assertiveness training has become very popular. In the usual content of the training "Assertiveness":
1. To make people understand the difference between aggressiveness and perseverance,
2. So that people can understand the difference between passive behavior and aggressive behavior,
3. To raise awareness of personal rights,
4. Instill the skills of verbal and non-verbal confidence
5. Develop the ability to fulfill your desires and desires through proper communication and cooperation,
6. So that people can express their thoughts, views, opinions, wishes, desires, etc. In a confident and comfortable way,
7. Develop the ability to initiate and maintain healthy social relationships with others
8. So that people can control their anger constructively. Anger comes with tremendous energy, if it is used efficiently and productively, it will bring positive results and vice versa.
9. Develop positive self-esteem, because it is closely related to Persistence.
According to Robert G. Irus, the next 9 steps will allow us to be more assertive, thereby maintaining harmonious relationships with others. [Robert G. Jerus is the founder of Success Dynamics International, which empowers organizations to perform at exceptional levels by releasing the power of communication.]
1. The first step is to understand the difference between perseverance and aggressiveness. Persistent people believe in the promotion of their own rights, and not to step on others. At the same time, they show exceptional respect for the rights of others.
2. We must have clear boundaries in our minds, dealing with others.
When we are clear about our borders and boundaries, others will also learn about their boundaries.
3. We must allow people to understand our position politely, not allowing our position or point of view, to be ignored. Our needs are also important.
4. We must with pride and confidence assert ourselves and our good qualities. This will undoubtedly increase our self-confidence and increase positive self-esteem.
5. We must be very clear about what we want. There is a time and place to go along with others, but there is a time to achieve our own dreams.
6. We must avoid timidity. Aggressive people tend to join the rights of others, while passive people continue to sacrifice their own rights to please others.
7. The ability to say "YES" or "NO" clearly and be able to stand up for an answer, makes a person assertive. We must develop our opinions and support them.
8. Another important point is to avoid arrogance. People do not like the tendency to dominate and control others. This attitude needs to be overcome.
9. We need to learn to value ourselves and our points of view. At the same time, people around us must understand our point of view and recognize them as meaningful.
A win-win approach is an example of confidence. The goal of persistent behavior goes far beyond simply expressing one’s own rights. You need to be able to create the desire to listen in the mind of another person. We must respect our own rights, as well as the feelings and feelings of others.
The golden rule is to talk to others the way they want to talk. Dr. Stephen Covey, in his famous book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, said that we should try to understand the emotions behind the words of others.
Books are available on:
• Your ideal: perseverance and equality in your life and relationships, Robert E. Alberti and Michael Emmons (San Luis Obispo, Impact Publishers, 2001).
• When I say no, I feel guilty, Manuel Smith (New York: Bantam Books, 1975)
• The persistent option: your rights and obligations, Patricia Jakubowski and Arthur J. Lange (Champaign, Ill, Research Press, 1978).
• Affirm yourself: how to be your own person, Merna Dee Galassi (New York, Human Sciences Press, 1977).
• How to become an assistant (non-aggressive) woman in life, in love and at work, Jean Barre (New York, NAL / Dutton, 1991).
• Getting “Yes”: agreement agreement without the provision of Roger Fisher, William Urie and Bruce Patton (2nd ed., New York, “Books of Penguins”, 1991).
